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Marriage Mistakes

Hi friends! So, today I'm continuing my blog series on marriage with the 6th chapter of my book, If I'm Being Honest. If you haven't ordered your copy yet, you can get one today from Amazon by clicking on the link. If you missed the previous posts just stop by the blog and check them out. I hope everyone is having a good week.

I'm going to let this chapter speak for itself. Aside from the laughs, I hope you take away a little wisdom as well. Keeping ourselves put together is vital in keeping our marriage fresh and the sex amazing! Happy reading!

CHAPTER 6 Keep Calm and Shave the Vajayjay

Most of us are guilty of letting ourselves slip the longer we are married. Just like we stop #dating and having #sex, a lot of us stop trying to please our spouse with our appearance. For me it was the opposite. I tried too hard. So hard that it became unhealthy. What I want to discuss in this chapter is how to have a healthy body image, one that you portray to your spouse. I am not saying we all have to strive to be size 2, but we must never stop keeping ourselves groomed.

Some of you may laugh at this but you all know it is true. As soon as we are home the bra comes off and gets placed perfectly over our door knobs. The make-up gets washed away and our hair finds its home in a knot on top of our heads; sexy. We haven’t shaved in a week and pile up on the couch in our worn out pj’s and expect our husbands to swoon. Meanwhile they have spent the day at work with their beautiful co-worker whose hair is fixed and makeup perfectly in place. Her girls are perky because she still has them tied up in her bra and she smells like cotton candy.

On his way to lunch he see’s movie stars on billboards wearing next to nothing in a photoshopped image and the magazines in the breakroom reveal even more #temptation. We don’t need to compare ourselves to these other women but we also can’t allow ourselves to stop caring about our looks. Our husbands picked us, so obviously they liked the way we looked. It is not fair for them to marry a princess and get stuck with a frog.

When we let ourselves go it suggests to our husbands that we no longer care about them. We no longer care about their needs and desires. If your husband likes you to have long hair then you should wear your hair long. This is REALLY hard for me. I am very independent. I hate to feel like I have to please someone else. I feel like if I want to shave my head my husband should just love me anyway. And he would still love me, but if he found that less attractive, that would open up the door for him to be tempted by the girl at work with the long, pretty hair that he likes. The same goes for us women. We don’t want our husbands to let themselves go and stop caring about the way they look. We don’t want to come home to a man that has gained fifty pounds and never combs his hair. Do we love them? Absolutely.

But watching them scratch their balls while watching T.V. is less than attractive. It opens up the door for us to be tempted by the hot guy that runs by our house every afternoon at exactly 3:15 with sweat running down his chiseled abs. You get my point. We don’t want them to stop caring so we shouldn’t either.

Even if you weren’t exactly on point when he met you, you should always try to be better. Be continually improving yourselves. Ask your #husband what he likes about you. How does he like your hair? Pay attention to the comments he makes when you wear certain clothes. Do your best to appease him but never let this become an obsession. With me it did. Bless my husband’s heart, I was crazy. I was so worried about what he thought I actually did more harm than good. Remember you also have to be pleased with the way you look as well.

When you are confident your husband can tell and it makes you feel so much better. You all know what I mean. Like having on a pair of matching panties and bra make you feel sexier than worn out undergarments, and sex is so much better when you have brushed your teeth and showered. Men, take note, last night’s BO is not a turn on, and women, your husband does not want to make love to, and dare I say, a stink’n #vajayjay. Wash that thing. Put on some make-up and become your husband’s greatest desire. Husbands, think back to when you were first dating your wife. You actually considered the way you looked, you actually tried to please her and not just yourself. The temptation is real y’all. We must do all we can to prevent our spouses from looking elsewhere for their needs to be met. It starts at home in the mirror.

Here are just a few general examples of how you ladies can keep yourself from letting your looks take a back seat. First of all, shower. Seriously ladies, like I said before, a stink’n vajayjay is just nasty. You have soap, use it. Wear deodorant and shave, shave, shave, this is a major one.


I know many women that let this habit slip. They think winter is a time to grow their fur coats, and turn in their razors for a pair of blue jeans. This should NEVER happen. You may hide the unsightly stubble from the world but your husband still has to have sex with you. I don’t imagine he desires for his wife to be as hairy as him. On an added note, if the hair on your arms is as much or nearly as much as your husbands, shave that mess too. There is nothing less sexy than man hairs sticking out from under your sleeve. Pluck the chin hairs too. If you are over thirty you can relate, if not, just get ready it will happen to you too. And last but certainly not least, manicure the vajayjay. You younger generation have gone to extremes and completely cropped the whole bush. We older women like to leave a little landing strip, if you will. Most importantly find out what your spouse likes and do that. He may like it wild and tribal down there so never assume.

I know some of you may not have much to spend but save up if you have to, and buy some matching bras and panties. Do this regularly. You will be amazed at how this will make you feel. Your husband needs to see new and sexy things underneath your clothes. Men are visual. Whatever you can do to appeal to them in this way will work wonders. Experiment with different scents until you find the one he loves and wear it. Hug him in the mornings and he will think of you when he smells you on his shirt throughout the day. Fix your hair the way he likes and wear your makeup to compliment your best features. We are not all supermodels but we can all be beautiful if we just put forth a little effort and remember, your husband chose you, he is already attracted to you.

I look forward to hearing from you.